don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
