I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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