I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
