Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
