We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
