Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
