how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
