just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize