alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
