the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.