Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.