Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.