Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
