If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
