I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Come see our sink grown plant.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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