I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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