There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she pinky promised me she was 18
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
