I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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