I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize