the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
