Dual....:-)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
