Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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