So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
