Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
