he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
