we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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