I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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