she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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