I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
