that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
