can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
