Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
