i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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