she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
