this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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