Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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