If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were trust falling into bushes
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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