remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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