Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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