why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
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