apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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