He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
