oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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