I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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