I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
