So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
