Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize