I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mom said you looked used
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
