I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
