Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
