You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
