ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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