I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
