what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
