lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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