Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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