why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
