It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
