Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
