So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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